Decoding Parenting – 2: Being parents – Not an easy job

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GUEST ARTICLE: It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that parenting is toughest when a child enters its teens. Parents are often at a loss to understand how to deal with them. In this article, Sheetal Sharma tries to simplify the difficulty by presenting the perspective of both – parents as well as teenagers 

In the wake of the recent movie, Dear Zindagi, I’m sure a lot of teenagers are giving it a thought that being parents is really not an easy job. When I go back to my teens, I remember being told a number of times “Jab maa baap banoge, to pata chalega…” – the phrase not explained any further. Today, as a parent of a boy in the pre-adolescent years, I think I somewhat understand the unfinished, unexplained phrase.

No-no… I’m not here to preach once again. But just to point out certain myths and facts about parenting.

Myth 1: Teenage is an age when the world decides, according to its convenience, whether the child is a grown up or is still a ‘na-samaj bachcha.’  Yes many a times, a contradictory sentence is heard from parents, sometimes reminding us that we are grown up enough and sometimes telling us that we still need to know the ways of the world. Surely, it’s confusing but at the same time it’s true.

Fact: The parents are only over protective towards the child who is yet to step into this merciless world, but they also want him to take responsibility of his actions. Keeping pace with the two aspects, these obviously are statements that clash with each other.

Myth 2: Parents expect a teenager to be correct and righteous at all times.

Fact: I’m sure; there was a generation of parents which felt that children did not have the right to go wrong. Like “How dare you?” kind of dads. But thanks to the great deal of parenting tips around, our present generation of parents is far more accepting.

Myth 3: Parents feel that a child takes very irrational decisions and is not capable of taking care of himself.

Fact: The teenage child is at that tender point when his physical being is that of a grown up and the world is not that sensitive towards the immature, childish behaviour. The young lad is expected to take on the world but the brain of the child is not developed enough to react to situations in an appropriate manner. So, while the parents are only proactively participating in the decisions the child is making, it is more often than not taken as interference.

Myth 4: Children bear the burden of the parents’ aspirations.

Fact: All parents would obviously want their children to do well for themselves. In this course of decision making, children might feel that their parents are thrusting their unfulfilled dreams on them. For example, a 16-year-old boy suddenly announces his love for music and decides to become a DJ, quitting his studies. And given the academic background of the family, it is something unacceptable and demeaning for them. To the child, the unacceptability of his profession is only because of the linage of academicians in the family, but the family wants him to take up a more stable and promising career.

Well, the list of these myths v/s facts could be endless. So instead of thinking more on the discrepancies, I would talk about finding ways to diminish these in the next article.

The writer is a Counsellor with Saksham Resource Centre. The organisation is working actively for the empowerment of visually impaired people.

READ ALSO:

Decoding Parenting – 1: Five common myths about parenting
Decoding Parenting – 3: Seven reasons why we need a school for parents​

DISCLAIMER: Views expressed above are that of the author and do not reflect the views of the website. The Peeper Times does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.

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