Let’s not restrict our children, let’s understand them

Everyone wants obedient kids but parents must also guide kids and give them some space too. The world can become much better place to live if both children and parents understand that “The key to happiness is to see each other happy”.

Children feel that parents interfere a lot into their lives, and parents feel that children might opt for a wrong career, bad company, or may take incorrect vital life decisions including marriage. Parents usually have high expectations from kids. However, somewhere between their desire and intentions to help, often things tend to go haywire. The reason might be lack of understanding. Healthy relationship is vital for both sides to talk freely and understand each other. Everyone would observe then that respect and obedience automatically follows thereafter.

If there are some parenting schools in vicinity, they can help parents to learn some tips on how to take proper care of infants, toddlers and teenagers. But for now, parents can research online. They can try to understand the following things:

1.  Children need guidance, love, care, support, and wings of independence

Parents need not restrict freedom of children keeping fast technology, art, innovation and creativity in mind. New generation has always come up with excellent gadgets and machines that have made lives awesome. So, comfort and style-statements have become the center of everything.

Children just need to know that they can always come back to parents and seek guidance whenever they feel like. Mom and dad should guide properly and let those young minds choose their own career path.

Parents of teen aspirants usually become worried about the stream that will be available after class 10th results. Some psychometric tests are available to help children judge their aptitude, talent and personality trait. Finally everything boils down to the stream one is interested in and capable of making a mark into. Other than arts, science and commerce stream, some diploma courses/vocational streams are also available after class 10th.  Regional employment office or internet can help in this regard. The golden rule is, “The more the child gets to study, the better are chances of bright future.” Ever wondered how Japanese, South Korean education system is different from ours and why they fair better technology-wise? Parents, who are financially capable, must not limit kids to opt for Indian education system when something better can be made available.

Teenagers also do not want that parents should dictate them what steam/profession they should pursue. If parents/teachers become friends with children/students, their healthy discussions will mostly be fruitful. Guidance/support from relatives, friends, teachers, peers, experts/counselors can be helpful. Every child just needs love, care and support. Then they can dream big and become great humans.

2.  Children neither need too much love nor constant nagging

Blind love for kids might backfire but one need not be very strict either because constant nagging backfires too. When children get into their teens, they do not listen more often; quite expected. Parents must not always blindly fulfill all the wishes of children. Also, children don’t want to listen to same old nag again and again. Nagging can create resentment. Therefore, parents must look for some good ways of motivating children.

3.  Parents need not be surprised when children do not meet their expectations

Parents should discuss the negative developments timely to help their children cope up with issues that they are unable to handle alone. Problems related to education, employment, health and hygiene, relationships or living far away from home should be handled delicately. If sometimes children make mistakes, parents should be ready to forgive them more than once. At the same time, they must make their children understand that moral or illegal mistakes can harm a lot, and crime never goes unpunished.

4.  Children need quality time and good environment at home

If children find parents quarreling with each other at home, they might think that since parents cannot take care of themselves, what better they will be able to do in a child’s life. If parents are busy earning money or spending too much time on socialising or social media platforms, and ignoring their kids, then parents may not have enough say in the kids’ life.

Kids need to learn about cultures, traditions, and success or failure stories. Other than providing kids good education, parents need to take care of their health and also help them imbibe good cultural habits so that they don’t forget to respect other people, religion and their country.

Please ask the child inside you about the expectations you had from your parents and the society when you were young. I am sure many of you will find answers about how to fulfill your child’s aspirations/dreams, sooner or later.

The article is written by Vijay Gandhi. He is a father of a 10-year-old son and can be contacted at gandhivv@gmail.com

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