Appearing for board exams? This DU student has a message for you

Himanshi Munjal is a student of Shaheed Bhagat Singh College, DU. She appeared for her CBSE board exams in 2018. In this article, she shares her story regarding her anxiety before and after board exams and her struggle with college admissions; and whether all this stress was really worth it or not?

Hello my dear juniors,

I know right now you all must be worried about your board examinations. You must be waking up early, going to bed late, watching YouTube tutorials for your chapters, solving previous year’s question papers, studying continuously and dedicatedly for countless number of hours to score good marks so that you can get admission in the college of your choice and make yourself and your parents proud.

I know all this because this is what I was doing last year. I was tired of studying the same boring syllabus again and again. I just wanted all this mental torture (worsened by over-expectations of everyone around) to be over as soon as possible. But at the same time, I sincerely believed that if I didn’t study properly during these last few months of the session, my whole year’s preparation for the most important challenge of my life would go in vain as I was a good student and had scored 94 per cent in my pre-boards.

When CBSE announced the dates of the board exams, the biggest obstacle I faced was the datesheet. I had papers on two consecutive days, without any break – Psychology and Political Science. I braced up for this challenge. I still remember, I was very tired after taking my Psychology exam, but I still somehow managed to prepare for the Political Science paper without taking any proper rest.

All my papers went well, especially, English and Psychology as these were my favourite subjects and I expected to score full marks in them. Obviously, I expected to score a little higher than what I’d scored in my pre-boards.

And then finally came the result, and simultaneously, tears out of my eyes. No, not because of happiness that all my efforts and hard work culminated in a successful and good score, but due to the fact that the published result was contrary to my expectations. I was convinced that there were checking errors and the result was totally inaccurate and not according to the answers I’d written.

I had scored 80 marks in English and 86 marks in Psychology, my two favourite papers which went really well. Rest of the result was pretty okay. However, I was not completely satisfied with the marks I’d scored in other subjects also. I had complete faith in myself and knew I couldn’t score such marks even in my wildest dreams. My average percentage was 89 per cent. I cried for days. My teachers and parents couldn’t believe it either. Although they supported me during this tough time, and kept telling me that the result is fine and I shouldn’t feel bad about it, but I knew they were disappointed too.

As long as you study on your own and are happy with what you (choose to) do, you’ll never be concerned about the institute you’re pursuing your degree from

                                                              – Himanshi Munjal

I, finally, decided to apply for re-checking and re-evaluation of both the papers – English and Psychology. Although, I wanted to apply for other papers also, but I didn’t. That’s because the results of these two papers were most unbelievable. And it cost me around Rs 3000 which were non-refundable.

The re-evaluation process was going to take time. Meanwhile, admission process in Delhi University (DU) began. Like every typical school student, I aspired to take admission in the North Campus colleges of DU, but I couldn’t due to a low percentage. So, to reserve my seat in DU, I took an admission in one of the colleges at South Campus. I planned to change my college if my score increased after re-evaluation.

I was very depressed and eager to find out what went wrong. Some of my classmates who didn’t study the entire year had scored more marks than me and were getting admission in reputed DU colleges. I was disappointed.

Two weeks later, the re-evaluation result was out. My new scores were – 89 in Psychology and 91 in English. I was still not happy, but now, I could do nothing about it.

My new overall percentage, now 92 per cent, helped me change my college. Although, initially, I was not happy, that even after studying so dedicatedly for years, I had not been able to get a college of my choice, but later, to be very honest, I realised I was wrong.

I started interacting with other students, teachers and learnt about things not mentioned in our books, things which I’d never learned in my school. It was a totally new experience. Slowly, I forgot about my bitter experience. Although, sometimes I still feel bad about it, but it doesn’t hurt me to the extent it did months ago.

Now, I’m in the second semester of my college, and I just don’t care about the happenings of the past. So, what’s the moral of my allegory?

As long as you study on your own and are happy with what you (choose to) do, you’ll never be concerned about the institute you’re pursuing your degree from. Because in the end, your identity shouldn’t be related to the organisation you’re associated with, but should be based on the work that you do, how you treat others, and how your efforts make a change in the society.

I’m also very proud of myself that I didn’t take any suicidal steps when I was going through depression.

I wanted to share my experience because if something similar happens to anyone, which I hope it doesn’t, you should know that it’s not your fault. There are several other external factors involved, like, may be, incorrect checking of papers. And, don’t feel bad if you don’t get admission in your desired college. Instead, do something that will make your college a popular choice among the next generation, and thus break the stereotype that exists in the minds of students with regard to colleges.

To sum up, success comes through your own efforts, and not because of the institution you’re working with.

Thank you all for reading and thanks to The Peeper Times for giving this opportunity to me to share my views!

DISCLAIMER: Views expressed above are that of the author and do not reflect the views of the website. The Peeper Times does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.

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